Stop Saving & Start Loving

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We all have that inner child part that is waiting to be rescued. It doesn’t require something awful to happen in our childhoods. At some point in our childhoods, we were not treated fairly and our needs were not met. This is natural. Children are born with needs that are hard for adults to meet. And so, deep inside, there is a part that waits for those needs to be met by others.

This insatiable and global desire for a hero to rescue us manifests everywhere. We see it in our movies and books about super heroes of all shapes and sizes. We see it in those co-dependent relationships which never seem to meet our expectations. And we see it in the anti-trafficking movement. Continue reading

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Safety First

Safety First 2

I was raised by narcissists.  I am not talking about the general selfishness that plagues the human race.  I am referring to sociopathic narcissism in which their only concern is reducing their own pain.  There is no interest in the feelings or pain of the other … ever.

This type of familial environment has left me with priorities that can be challenging when I attempt to interact with the rest of the world.

As a young child, I realized that I would not be able to rely on others to protect me and keep me safe.  I started making decisions based on my safety.  This continued in to adulthood.  In some situations, I am overly accommodating because I consider the situation unsafe.  I am trying to keep from experiencing retaliation from someone I consider dangerous.  This is a tactic that I learned as a child and unfortunately, it is not helpful as an adult.  I should eliminate these people from my life.  My underlying need for safety produces the opposite effect.  I have spent far too much time with dangerous people in order to appease them. Continue reading