Children have opinions. This is not a surprising statement for anyone who has raised a child past the age of 18 months. Children know what they want and they expect to get it. If they don’t get it, they will let you know their disappointment. Of course, this can be the hard part for parents. Words like “unfair”, “worst mother ever” and “I hate you” may be used at will. As parents, it is our job to remain calm, which is very difficult with or without a trauma background.
During my eight years as a parent, I have learned that children live in a black and white world. All dragons are bad. All candy is good. Every day is the best day ever, unless one little (very little) thing goes wrong. Then, it is the worst day ever. Every person wearing white is a good guy. Every person wearing black is a bad guy. You get my point. There is no grey area. Some ideas don’t register. The concept that people are both bad and good is particularly challenging. As is the concept that loving another person might mean walking away from them. Continue reading